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Stop Trying To ‘Own The Room’

Stop Trying To ‘Own The Room’
by Justin Patton

We've all heard it before. A high-potential new manager receives advice on how to show up with stronger confidence and presence. She's told that classic line, "Walk in and own the room!"

Please, stop saying this. It's awful advice.

First, if the individual already knew how to "own the room" then she would. Second, your definition of "own the room" is probably different than her interpretation so without clarity on how you define that phrase you leave her even more confused and self-conscious.

Third, if an individual lacks self-confidence, then what she hears with that advice is "fake it until you make it." She already doesn’t feel good enough and so you teach her to create an outer image she wants to project to the world to try and prove she belongs. As a result, she will likely lose her authentic self and her ability to genuinely connect with others — which is the best part of what she has to offer the world.

Finally, it perpetuates ego — a pervasive problem in many organizations today. We have enough egocentric leaders in the workplace today who always shine the spotlight on themselves, fail to take other people with them when making decisions, believe their truth is the only truth, and are unconscious to the impact their presence has on others.

I believe this advice is meant with good intentions, but there is a better way to coach leaders on how to show up and communicate with stronger impact. Instead of telling leaders to "own the room," we should empower and teach them how to "own their energy."

I define energy as the presence and mindset you show up with everywhere you go. Below are five intentional actions every leader can take to own their energy and build their credibility in the process:

1. Act like you belong

The best career advice I ever received came from Greg Creed, CEO of Yum! Brands. He said, "Stop trying to prove you belong and act like you belong."

Leaders who act like they belong aren't trying to prove it to anyone. They believe their presence, their words and their ability to ask great questions already matters. Owning your energy means you embrace the strengths and talents you bring to the table, and you make a conscious choice to focus on the value you bring versus the skills or perspective you don't.

2. Demonstrate quiet confidence

I define quiet confidence as the ability to stand in your truth — unapologetically — while also giving others permission to do the same. Nonverbal communication constitutes over 65 percent of how we communicate, and some leaders are clueless on how their body language is impacting their ability to connect and build trust throughout the organization.

Owning your energy means you acknowledge that the body language of power and confidence looks and feels different than the body language of collaboration and empathy, and you possess the self-awareness and discipline to flex your style.

Quiet confidence requires you to stand tall in your own light but make it safe enough for others to do the same. When we do that, we make others feel heard and acknowledged for what they bring into the room, and we find ourselves connecting on a much deeper level. It is on that level that we build strong engagement and organizational culture.

Read full article onMultiBriefs.